Preparations to be a successful SAP Consultant

Here are TEN Tips and Tricks in 

preparation to be 

a SAP Consultant

1. Take swimming lessons 

Most likely you will be thrown in the "Waters" alone, 

knowing how to swim at least you will not drown.

I took swimming lessons in the School,
I had been thrown to different "Water" conditions;

So, I am not afraid of different "Water" conditions，
despite the fact that I only know the frog style.

2. Learn how to not tell the Truth 

If you are like me, you will never be a successful SAP consultant,

You need to learn to not tell a lie as well as not tell the truth.

Everytime I tried something like this, 

I either cannot sleep or I get sick of myself.

3. Improve your writing skills like a lawyer

When you write the Blue Print, 

use your newly learned English Language skills

to manipulate the words such that it can mean

either way. The idea is get the Customer 

to sign the blueprint blindly.

My Blue Print is like a thesis, 

usually spelling out even the Configuration steps from the beginning,

If you do like me, you will end up in Hell 

later in the project.

4. Take some Tai Chi lessons

The skill of Tai Chi at the Master level 

will allow you to prosper in the field of SAP Consulting, 

you can get away without doing anything when 

you have achieved the levels of a Master Tai Chi.

I learn Tai Chi after I was hospitalized, working too hard on SAP. 

But I never did master the Art of Tai Chi 

in the work place.
Unlike many who I know don't even know Tai Chi (the Kung Fu thing)

but Tai Chi seems natural in their blood. 

Learn from those Masters, please.
But if you do wish for some real Tai Chi
for health reasons, I can teach you the steps !

5. Never show SAP screens until after the Blue Print is signed 

In this way, the customer is always guessing 

what was said in the Blue Print.

Let them guess and you will be fine.

Don't do what I did in my projects,

which I will show how the concepts are translated

as Prototypes during the BluePrint presentations,

this will reveal all the SAP weakness and 

create many challenges to you.

Don't be so stupid like me, OK.

6. Come on time but Don't go back too late

I am usually the first one to arrive in a Project site, 

to be honest no one knows who comes early,

everyone will know who goes back early.

So, no early birds, don't go back on time either.

15 minutes past the working hours is a good practice.

Never start the project by staying back 2 or 3 hours late,

as you will be expected to do so the rest of the project.

7. Play Politics

I have really no idea how.

But my observations in many projects are,

the successful consultants will know how to "Kamching"

with the right persons in the Project team 

and the right persons at the Customer Project team members.

In this way, you will always get the right support

when you are proposing something.

It really seems better not to fight alone.

Never Never work alone like me.
In Malaysia, you can also acquire the
very well know "Satay" technique.
By "Satay"-ing your boss, process owners, customer boss,
you are well to a good start in your SAP career,
going up. 

8. Dress Professionally

Most people know how to do this, except me.

I go to work in a T-Shirt, Jeans and Sneakers.

and I don't even comb my hair.

So, I don't need to teach you.

I failed miserably in this department.

9. Be-Friend with other SAP Consultants

If you do MM, be-friend with PP, SD, FI, CO, HR consultants.

Oh, and also Basis, Security, and ABAPers，
not to mention Cloud and Hana experts,
be-friend with them too ...

Consultants who have good people skills
and wide networking are always 

able to seek solutions quickly from their friends.

They know the "WAY".

Don't be like me, trying to learn everything myself,

finally, Master of None.

10. Protect your Rice Bowl

Always hide what you do, never share your knowledge.

Never be like me, sharing SAP knowledge in the Web,

that is really Stupid.

Make sure you keep the knowledge so that

you will have continuous prosperity in the SAP field

in years to come.

Of course, the above are just my 

Monday Jokes.

Get a good laugh,

and be a Honest and Responsible
SAP Consultant.