If Jacky Chan was a SAP Consultant

If  Jacky Chan was a SAP Consultant, everyone will have to step aside. Jacky Chan can do everything, Let me tell you why ...

1. When Jacky Chan writes a warning message in any program, all Chinese users will read it.

2. Jacky Chan has the ability to change any of the Standard SAP Programs.

3. Jacky Chan never uses the F1 key for help. 

4. Jacky Chan was certified in all of SAP software, I mean ALL. 

5. Imagine you would have been trained by Jacky Chan, you damn well know the intense knowledge you could have gained from the SAP Master Jacky Chan.

6. Jacky Chan seldom reads SAP Abap codes, because he has a team of Kungfu disciples who decifer the codes for him. Don't get me wrong, Jacky Chan knows the Abap codes from inside out, he just did not have time for the nitty gritty. 

7. If Jacky Chan takes up a SAP Roll out job, nobody will dare to deviate from the Standard SAP delivery and no modifications will be made. 

8. When Jacky Chan implements SAP WMS, the physical inventory count with always match the SAP inventory numbers. There is no doubt about it. 

9. Jacky Chan's Production Planning skills is above all PP Consultants (including me), because his capability is infinite. 

10. Many users complain that the SAP data entry screens are not friendly, because they had never receive a punch or flying kick from Jacky Chan. 

11. When Jacky Chan prepares to do a flying kick, you better execute transaction code MIGO and enter the Movement Type "551".

12. There will be a "Hong Kong Time Zone" in SU01 added, because Jacky Chan asked for it. 

13. Jacky Chan executes MRP run every second because he was the earliest adopter of SAP Hana, unlike myself always afraid to be early adopters of SAP Technology. No, No, Not Jacky Chan.

14. If Jacky Chan hears any user talks crap about SAP ....

15. When SAP decided to go Cloud, Jacky Chan approved it. 

16. If Jacky Chan is trying to access an IMG Configuration logged by you, you better start saying prayers. 

17. Jacky Chan will be the Head of the Think Tank Team in SAP Shanghai Research Centre. 

18. All of Jacky's developed processes will obviously be SAP Best Practices. 

19. Jacky Chan would have design new PP Planning Strategy for the MRP 3 data view of the Material which will have Strategies from 孙子兵法 (The Art of War). This will be our PP Planning module above and beyond all other competitors. (in fact, no more competition) Remember this, Jacky Chan only runs infinite capacity planning. (I myself is a proponent of infinite capacity systems, at least we have something in common.)

20.  Jacky Chan seldom uses BW, not that he does not believe in it. But Jacky compresses all forms of data using his fists, then only the data will be passed to BW. He will not bother what BW does with the data as the data is already compressed beyond Star Schema. 

21. When Jacky Chan takes on a new SAP Project, do not despair, he brings his own team of SAP disciples who has been with him for many many years. They work seamlessly together. The Client will start the day with Tai Chi lead by Jacky himself and end the day with some Kungfu practices. It is not just the mind but also the care of the body in Jacky Chan's SAP practices.

(Take it easy, it's Monday SAP Jokes, sad to say enjoy your week on SAP without Jacky Chan as he is our SAP God in the East).