SAP Acronyms (Part 11)

 

"What is SAP ?"

Lets have some light moments before we
Login to a SAP system
comes  Monday morning

Smiles and Pains

Shoot all Programmers

Solutions against Progress

Some ambiguous Programs

Systems against People

Sorry and Pray

Seamless and Painful

Silly altered Programs

Sick arrogant Professionals

Suck all Profits

SAP Jokes

SAP Jokes

SAP Jokes

SAP Jokes

Blank.
Blank.
Blank.
Blank.
Blank.
Blank.
Blank.
Blank.
Blank.
Blank.

SAP and Excel

I like Spreadsheets, but SAP is never going to look like Excel ! Or will it?
So Why don't SAP Integrate with Excel. 

Oh!. They tried it in early 2000. 
But when trying to demonstrate that in class, I clicked on the Cell in Excel to change a value and press Enter, I waited together with the students to see the same changed value to be reflected in the SAP screen, the wait seems forever! It was lucky that the students in that particular class was nice people and they said never mind. So, I proceed to move on to the next topic. After around 60 minutes when it was time for lunch, and the students left the room, I checked if the updating in SAP was succusseful, it did and I was quite excited. But honestly, I was too embarassed to show the updated result in SAP to the students after lunch. Imagine real case scenario of users updating an excel sheet and are told they have to wait for some time for it to be updated to SAP!  That rather embarassing moment in an SAP class was in early 2000! 

Its 2017 now and Ah!. They are going to try again with Hana.
Since Hana is going to be 33 times faster, I bet you just have to go pee in the toilet and return to see the value updated ! Lol! That was just a joke, maybe the updating is really seamless today in the Hana Platform! 

SAP says these are now the exciting times to show the ease and speed of integration of SAP to everything else creating a seamless user experince environment. Honestly I am alreasy too tired to be interested in them. But I do believe they are more possibilities in the current computing times compared to 17 years ago. For example, I am writing this blog post using the S Pen on the Note 8, something quite impossible 17 years on a mobile device. 

I do agree with SAP that these are exciting times!

SAP Go-Life Nightmares

Anyone who has ever survived an SAP project go-live knows it's the place for both on-the-job learning, last-minute surprises, as well as sleepless hours before and after the go-live date.

It is the worst ever feeling of your career is about to over if things cannot be fixed. It is worst than those nights of burning the mid-night oil preparing for the final exams in school. 

Your nightmare is waking up on the Go-Life day to find out that the company's business has ground to a halt due the the SAP Go-Life blunder that you were part of. 

SAP BI Tools Zoo

“We have a tool zoo," says Ty Miller of SAP, who presented during a keynote at ASUG's SAP Analytics and BusinessObjects Conference in Austin, Texas on September 2015. "We have so many tools.”

SAP BusinessObjects users know all too well how many different tools options are available, to the point where things might seem a bit overwhelming.

SAP BI Tools Zoo, see below:

SAP Lumira.
SAP BusinessObjects Dashboards.
SAP BusinessObjects Design Studio.
SAP Crystal Reports.
SAP BusinessObjects Analysis MS Office.
SAP BusinessObjects BI Platform.
SAP BusinessObjects Explorer.
SAP BusinessObjects Mobile.
SAP Set Analysis.
SAP Analysis for OLAP. 
SAP Analysis for Office.
SAP Live Office.
SAP Add-on Xcelsius Controls.
SAP WS Support.
SAP BEx WAD features to Design Studio.
SAP Web Intelligence.
SAP Explorer.

That is why to get that report you want, you have to pay dearly to a BI consultant.

When SAP ...

When Basis becomes Netweaver, the only word I can get out of tech people is "It can do anything"

When SAP Bought BO, and then there is this Crystal Report, Lumira, etc whatever, I think it added a ZOO of BI tools for the customer to choose.

When SAP started to offer Hana and Hana training classes started, the only thing I hear "good" about Hana was "It is 33 times faster, I have no idea what it means anyway". 

When SAP started its Cloud Journey, I was beginning to wonder why an old frog like me is still doing SAP.

I like the good old days of SAP when it was at version R/3 3.0 with those gray classical look and feel. When MM is called MM and not Procurement or Purchase-to-Pay or whatever they are calling it today or tomorrow. 

Where in anything today, "Change is inevitable and Personal Growth is no longer an option" ... where the motivation to keep up with new things is no longer in the heart, it may be time to do something elese ...

Business Class Lounge

Heard 2 woman chatting next to me in the Business Lounge at KLIA few months ago.

Woman 1 : I am on the Business Trip, where are you going ? 
Woman 2 : I am on a shopping trip.

Woman 1 : Are you alone.
Woman 2 : No, I am following my husband on his business trip, you are married too ! 

Woman 1 : Oh, I have a son who is 20 year old.
Woman 2 : Oh, thats good for you.

Woman 1 : But guys are like Camels.
Woman 2 : (laughing out loud)

Woman 1 : There are big but have tiny brains.
Woman 2 : Harr, tell me about it, as that goes the same with my 50 year old husband.

Woman 1 : Oh, ic... but what does your husband do.
Woman 2 : He told me he is a Consultant doing something call SAP.

Woman 1 : Where is your husband now.
Woman 2 : Oh, he is in the Economy seats, so he cannot come in to the first class lounge. 

Woman 1 : Men, Camel, tiny brains (laughing out loud)
Woman 2 : ... and SAP Consultants ... aren't they all the same (laughing out loud)

SAP Buy Buy Buy

In Oct 2007, SAP Bought Business Objects for $4.8 Billion. Adding to its "Zoo" of Business Intelligence offering to the customer. 

In Oct 2007, SAP Bought Yasu Technologies for $? Billion. Somekind of Business Process Management thing from Hyderabad, India.

In May 2010, SAP Bought Sybase for $5.8 Billion. Sybase was supposed to be a strategic and database-centric acquisition for SAP. 

In Dec 2011, SAP Bought SuccessFactor for $3.4 Billion. SuccessFactor is somekind of Cloud-Based HCM Software.

In May 2012, SAP Bought Ariba for $4.3 Billion. Ariba is now called SAP Ariba, using it to improve the procurement process via the Internet. But SAP has already sold its SRM Enterprise Buyer software to many customers for many years.

In Mar 2013, SAP Bought Camilion for $? Billion. Camilion is a leading provider of insurance product development, product life-cycle and underwriting solutions that help insurance companies significantly improve the quality of the business they write and bring new products to market faster.

In Jan 2012, SAP bought Datango for $? Billion. Datango will allow SAP to add multilingual online help and training materials to enterprise software.

In April 2012, SAP bought Syclo for $? Billion. Syclo offers mobile applications to extend enterprise systems

In Jan 2013, SAP Bought TikcetWeb for $? Billion. TikcetWeb is a German maker of customer relationship management (CRM) and ticketing software applications designed for the sports and entertainment industry. 

In Feb 2013, SAP Bought SmartOps for $? Billion. SmartOps is a leading provider of inventory and service-level optimization software solutions.

In Aug 2013, SAP Bought Hybris for $1 Billion. Hybris is somekind of B2B Commerce environment. 

In Oct 2013, SAP Bought Kxen for $? Billion. KXEN primarily manufactured predictive analytics software.

In Mar 2014, SAP Bought FieldGlass for $1.1 Billion. FieldGlass is somekind of workforce management software.

In May 2014, SAP Bought SeeWhy for ? Billion. SeeWhy applications trigger personalized marketing campaigns using email and ad delivery across desktop, mobile, and social channels. 

In Dec 2014, SAP Bought Concur for $8.3 Billion. The deal adds Concur's more than 23,000 customers and 25 million users to the SAP cloud.

In Oct 2015, SAP Bought Multiposting for $? Billion. Multiposting is a French company which provides software for the automatic posting of jobs and internships on the internet.

In Feb 2016, SAP Bought Roambi for $? BIllion. Roambi is a business application that changes raw business data into interactive graphics designed for mobile devices on the iOS platform. 

In Sept 2016, SAP Bought Fedem Technology for $? Billion USD. Fedem is a technology company specializing in advanced engineering analysis and consulting; they provide advanced engineering services based on software tools. 

In Dec 2016, SAP Bought Abakus for $? Billion USD. Abakus makes marketing measurement and optimization easy with software. 

What did SAP bought in 2017 ... 

Deciding to Join the SAP bandwagon means

There is no easy way to say this

Use Impressive Buzzwords when Explaining SAP Concepts

Use the following

"The Heuristics Logistics Projections of Materials provides a Systematic and Responsive approach enabling the Capability Provision for Contingencies Planning in your Organization." 

Instead of the plain word below

"MRP Run"

Use words where people will never understand when you combine them together. In this way, "No One will know what the SAP Consultant is Talking about and also too afraid to Admit about it, Therefore the Consultant walks through the Project easier and the customer is left with the MRP Shit after the Consultant left. As no one understood what the Consultant did, as everything said sounds Powerful and Complicated, so it must be a good thing until MRP failed miserably after Project went life and the Consultant already left the Project!

Training to be a SAP Consultant

A Chinese man walk into a Tea House (茶档) with one of his FIST up the air and another hand holding a bag full of SHIT. 

He demanded the Waiter (档小二) for a pot of Top Class Tie Guan Ying (顶级铁观音). The Waiter obliged and soon brought a pot to the table for the Chinese man. 

The Chinese man pour some tea into the cup but quickly spit out all the tea, he then stood up to throw the Pot as well as the bag of SHIT into the air. He swing his FIST to break the Pot into pieces and did a Flying kick to the bag of SHIT. 

All eyes of other Patrons look at the Pot and SHIT flying everywhere, but the Chinese man turned his back and disappeared (轻功). 

The Next day, the Chinese man return to the same Tea House, and shouted from the entrance for a pot of Top Class Tie Guan Ying (顶级铁观音) again. The Waiter throw back a reply "Sorry, we are closed today. We are cleaning up the SHIT the last time you were here. But, just what was all that about you did yesterday ?"

The Chinese man said, "I am now training to be an SAP Consultant, I come in, boss around, drink Tea, kick SHIT, and disappear quickly". 

$AP

SAP Genisys Project

Soon SAP will be connected to 
... your Phone, 
... your Tablet, 
... your Car, 
... your House, 
... your Shoes,
... your Watch, 
... your Cooking utensils, 
... your Bathroom, 
... your Bed, 
... your Toilet. 
... your TV, 
... your Chair, 
... the Pillow you rest your head ....

SAP will be part of your life.

The secrets of SAP success

Everyone you speak to, to some level have a lot of "negative" stuff to talk about SAP. It did seem that almost if not all who had implemented it say it is a German Product that "sucks" and they have "suffered" to have been part of the project or using it. Every Consultant (including those making a lot of money out of it) will all continue say how "bad" the software is. 

But why is SAP still around ? Where is PeopleSoft, Baan, Oracle, JD Edwards, I don't keep up with the news of the SAP competitors but SAP seems to be always consistently among if not at the top in Gardner Reports. Every week on Friday at the Training Center, there are consistently at least 20-40 people taking SAP Certification Exam, so many out there aspire to be the next SAP Consultant making it big. 

Why are the companies been "sucked" into SAP is still using it ?
Because they cannot get out of it. 
A lot of big companies plunged into SAP at "their good times", at this present Global Economic situation, to re-implement something else is not easy. Put it this way, SAP is never really an off-the-shelf package that fits different business, all companies using SAP have really spend a lot of resources enhancing the system to fit their needs. It is just impossible to switch it off and do something else. 

Why are consultants who say they hated the software still in it ?
Because of money and they cannot get enough of it. 
A Factory Manager likely only makes $6k to $8k MYR (average), in Malaysia, do you know how much responsibility a Factory Manager holds? An SAP consultant makes $6k - $10 MYR (average), do you think that the responsibilities of the SAP consultant is higher than the Factory Manager! Relatively speaking, the Job of an SAP consultant is really much easier. It is really true as it is SAP consulting is just matching what customer wants, if it cannot be done, just do enhancement via ABAP, that's it. So, although SAP Consultant "bitch" about the software, they are all still in it because of the MONEY. 

Everyone saying "BAD" things about SAP is still in one way or another working within part of the SAP ECO-system all because there are a lot more MONEY to make doing SAP rather than doing something else. 

Life as an SAP Consultant

Blur Blur

DNA Test Analysis of a Dedicated SAP Consultant

A recent DNA test result
of a dedicated SAP consultant